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Which
books seem of interest to you?
(recommendations made by Mike McManus of Marriage Savers)
(This excerpt from
"To Those threatened by divorce" by Mike McManus. Reprinted with permission from
the Marriage Savers website. To see full text of this article, click
here.)
- For the person fearful of divorce: Divorce
Busting by Michelle Weiner-Davis outlines steps you
can take to restore a marriage, even if your own partner is not
interested in taking any steps. You can change the character of your
marriage, by changing yourself. An updated version of this book for
women is called A Woman's Guide to Changing Her Man by
Michele Weiner-Davis. These books are available in any good
bookstore.
- For those couples with children, you must read
Dr. Judith Wallerstein's landmark new book, cited above, The
Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. In following 100 children of
divorce for 25 years, she discovered most of these children grew up
in families "where they experienced multiple divorces and
remarriages of one or both parents" plus "many
cohabitations and brief love affairs," with cataclysmic
consequences. Children sadly concluded that ties between men and
women "can break capriciously without warning," which
gives them no confidence in building relationships with the opposite
sex. Consequently, they are terrified of conflict and tend to
explode or run away." By ages 28-43, only 60% of these children
of divorce had married and many of them had already divorced. Since
Dr. Wallerstein appeared on "Oprah" the book has been on
the best seller list. Please see two columns I have written on this
important book, in the "Of Individual Interest" Section
[of the Marriage Savers
website] of this web site.
- For the good news about marriage and its
importance to every heterosexual person, I strongly recommend A
Case for Marriage by Dr. Linda Waite of the University of
Chicago and Maggie Gallagher, a syndicated columnist. It proves
conclusively that those who are married are far happier, healthier,
wealthier and live far longer than those who are alone. If you have
any doubt about the value of fighting for your marriage, this book
is must reading. It can be found in any good bookstore.
- For the person in a stepfamily, with children
from a previous marriage, read Willing To Try Again by
Dick Dunn. He has also written a book that can be used by anyone
considering marrying for a second time, when stepchildren are
involved Preparing to Marry Again. To order either
book visit our Online Resources page [of the Marriage
Savers website] or call us at 301-469-5873. The price of Willing to Try
Again is $12+ $2 postage and Preparing to Marry Again
is $15 + $2.
- Marriage Savers: Helping Your Friends and
Family Avoid Divorce is my major book which contains detail
on each of the interventions outlined above. For example, Chapter 9
is about Marriage Encounter. Chapter 10 spotlights Retrouvaille and
Chapter 11, Stepfamily Support Groups (among others). For those
concerned about saving their marriage, the book will give you more
information on these proven interventions and will help you to be
persuasive to your spouse on why you should both go to Retrouvaille,
for example. Chapter 2 offers detail on the consequences of
divorce to both adults and children. The book also has three
chapters for those who are not yet married, which make a case for
chastity, for taking a premarital inventory and for being mentored
by an older couple. It is an excellent book to give as a gift to a
person you may be concerned about at a key stage of the marital life
cycle. Marriage Savers also tells the story of how I
began creating Community Marriage Policies® that
are now in more than 130 cities and towns, which have brought down
divorce rates in some of them by one third. George Gallup, the
famous pollster wrote the Foreword, which begin with these eloquent
words,
If a disease were to afflict the majority of a
populace, spreading pain and dysfunction throughout all age groups, we
would be frantically searching for reasons and solutions. Yet this
particular scourge has become so endemic that it is virtually ignored.
The scourge is divorce, an oddly neglected
topic in a nation that has the worst record of broken marriages in the
entire world. Divorce is a "root problem" in our country, and
is the cause of any number of other social ills.
Marriage Savers® has an
Appendix which lists the names, phones, and addresses of 24 marriage
ministries which can help couples at every stage of marriage. And it
contains an Index to make it easy to find any information about marriage
or divorce that may be of interest. It can be ordered for $15 + $3
postage by calling my office during office hours, and I will send a
signed copy, if you ask for one. Call 301-469-5873.
6. Insuring Marriage: 25 Proven Ways to
Prevent Divorce is my short book, a parable version of Marriage
Savers. Chuck Colson wrote the Foreword. It is
only 112 pages long with about 800 words on each of 25 answers on how
the reader can become a "Marriage Saver," someone who can
transform their church from being a "wedding factory," into a
place that prepares people for a lifelong marriage, strengthens existing
ones, or saves troubled marriages. Each chapter is brief, the length of
a newspaper column, which some of them once were, that summarize the
most important ways to prevent divorce. If you have a daughter who is
cohabitating, or a brother whose marriage is in trouble, you might want
to buy this slender book and tell them which chapter to read. Its cost
is only $6 + $1 postage. Again, it can be ordered from 301 469-5873.
Finally, any multiple orders (3 or more) of either
Marriage Savers or Insuring Marriage will be
sold at a one-third discount. I am passing on my discount
as an author in order to help fuel the marriage movement. You could, for
example, teach a Marriage Savers course giving potential
Mentor Couples in your church the option of buying either book. We have
produced a series of 6 videos and a 96-page Leader's Guide to
Marriage Savers to make teaching easy. For more information on
this Marriage Savers Resource Collection, see the
Resources section of this Web Site.
This excerpt from "To Those threatened by divorce"
by Mike McManus. Reprinted with permission from
the Marriage Savers website. To see full text of this article, click
here.
(c) 2001 Marriage Savers
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